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Wedding Planning Guide
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Wedding Etiquette Most common etiquette mistakes, brides do… Etiquette... is all about treating people with courtesy and making them feel comfortable. When etiquette questions arise, consider the feelings of those who will be affected. Family Etiquette Introducing Parents If the bride and groom's parents have not met prior to the engagement, tradition dictates that the groom's family calls and introduces themselves to the bride's family and arranges a meeting. If the groom's parents do not make the first introduction, then the bride's parents should. Nowadays, who makes the first call is irrelevant; all that really matters is that the parents meet. If meeting face to face is impossible, a letter or phone call will suffice. In-Laws The groom's parents often feel left out of the planning process. To avoid this, invite your future in-laws into the initial dialogue. You should inform them of your ideas regarding location, date, size and style of the wedding. Let them make offers to pitch in with finances or planning. Keep them informed throughout your engagement! Invitation Etiquette Inviting partners and guests If an invited guest is married, engaged or living with a significant other, that partner must be included in the invitation. A single invitation addressed to both individuals should be sent to spouses or couples who live together, while separate invitations should be sent to each member of an engaged or long term couple who don't live together. Inviting single guests with a date A thoughtful gesture, but not required. If you are inviting a single guest with a date, try to find out the name of your friend's intended date and include that person's name on the invitation. Otherwise, inner envelopes may include "And Guest," indicating that he or she may bring any chosen escort or friend. Inviting Children To invite or not invite the little ones - this is a situation that can quickly get ugly. Make your decision and stick with it - then inform your guests through carefully addressed invitations: Children over 18 who are invited to the wedding should receive their own invitations - regardless of whether or not they live with their parents. If you don't send them an invitation - it's clear that they're not invited. Children under 18 who are invited to the wedding should have their name included on the invitation. If you're still worried that some guests may add write-ins on their reply card - print the names of those invited on the reply card as well. Guests Who Ask to Bring a Guest It is never appropriate for a guest to ask to bring a date, and you have every right to politely say no. Invitations to out-of-town guests Use your best judgment. Is this person truly a close friend who would want to attend your celebration? If so, failing to extend an invitation may be insulting. If not, send a wedding announcement instead, which carries no gift-giving obligation. Attire Etiquette Bridesmaids Dress The formality should match to your wedding dress. Although traditionally the dresses were the same length as the wedding gown, the rise in popularity of tea- and knee-length bridesmaids' dresses has relaxed that rule. As long as the fabric and overall style matches the formality of your floor-length gown, shorter bridesmaids' dresses are perfectly acceptable. White Nobody else should is to wear white but the bride! The Cash Bar Issue Never consider a cash bar at your reception. You would never ask anyone to pay for a cocktail in your own home... People at your reception are still your guests, even if the event is not held in your house! Gift etiquette Do not print registry information on the invitation. Do publicize your registry information by word of mouth only Don't explicitly request cash gifts; your close friends or family numbers can inform guests of your preferences if asked. Do return all gifts - even shower and engagement gifts - if the wedding is called off (so don't be tempted to use any gifts until after the wedding!) Do respond to each gift with a personal hand-written thank you note within two weeks of receiving the gift (or within 2 weeks of returning from your honeymoon) There is no special formula for determining the appropriate amount a guest should spend on a gift. The idea that each gift should cost as much as one plate at the reception is an impractical misconception. Monetary Gifts A asking for specific gifts - monetary or otherwise - is poor taste. The best way to handle this situation is by having your family spread the word, but make sure they specify why you would like money. If you receive money as a wedding gift, make sure you specify the amount and what it will be used for in your thank you note! Good etiquette on this day will go a long way with your guests and yourself. |
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